Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm passing your future prison.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
