Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
