I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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