I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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