he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
