They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
honey bunches of taint.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
