I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
