I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
