I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
