let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
