What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
