everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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