3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You're like the curious george of whores
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
