I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
