I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
