You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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