And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Randomize
