I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
