Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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