I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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