i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
