Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
