wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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