drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
