So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
