at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
