if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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