I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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