she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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