oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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