This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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