READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Randomize
