just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
