Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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