i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
we should paint friendship bongs
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
