He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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