ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
