I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
did i just pee glitter
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
