I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
