she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
