i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
