Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
