She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
