Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
