There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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