O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
thus making me awesome and them whores
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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