This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
