don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
