Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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