nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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