The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
