That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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